The Fat Bear Vote Tops This Week’s Internet News Roundup

This week, Californians got two helpings of bad news, as Pacific Gas & Electric shut off the power for some residents to try and cut down on wildfires, even as a blaze broke out and displaced thousands in the San Fernando Valley. (The electricity kept flowing to Silicon Valley’s tech companies, though.) Meanwhile, it was snowing in Montana; go figure. Relatedly, there were multiple protests (and multiple arrests) around the world led by action group Extinction Rebellion, which is calling on the media to do more reporting on climate change. Elsewhere, people are upset that Ellen DeGeneres is hanging out with George W. Bush, associates of President Trump’s personal attorney Rudy Giuliani were arrested and charged with campaign finance violations, and it looks like Brexit won’t be an utter disaster after all. With all of this going on, it’s surprising anyone had the energy to pretend to be upset over how much US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez paid for a haircut or enjoy Senator Elizabeth Warren’s snarky comeback to a question about same-sex marriage. You guys, so much happened last week. It’s time we unpacked it all.

The Situation in Syria

What Happened: President Trump pulled US armed forces from northern Syria.

What Really Happened: It started with this.

Yes, that’s the president essentially washing his hands of Syria without warning, abandoning an important US ally at the moment where it is in danger of being invaded by neighboring Turkey—in essence, endorsing the invasion. The announcement was surprising for many.

Even Republicans spoke out loudly against the president’s decision.

Trump didn’t back down, though, using Twitter to deliver an astonishing rebuttal to charges that he had, in essence, allowed the Turkish invasion to take place.

These tweets drew a number of unexpected comparisons—or, rather, the same unexpected comparison a number of times.

It was, perhaps, another sign of how quickly online responses can go from outrage to comforting memes and humor. Unfortunately, reality wasn’t going to allow everyone to stay comfy for too long.

The president offered this response:

He was more forceful during a surreal appearance press conference on Wednesday.

The president doesn’t see it that way, though.

Still, if we’re talking about taking lessons from World War II, would now be the time to point out that Turkey sided with the Nazis back then?

The Takeaway: In the tradition of “There’s a tweet for everything” may we present this?

Meanwhile, in the Impeachment Inquiry …

What Happened: President Trump’s ambassador to the European Union was scheduled to be deposed before the US House of Representatives. That didn’t happen.

What Really Happened: Meanwhile, in impeachment inquiry news, last week opened with Washington abuzz about a particular figure in the whole affair preparing to testify before the House.

For those with short memories, Gordon Sondland is the US’s ambassador to the European Union, and also an increasingly important figure in the whole Ukraine affair, having seemingly been involved with discussions to of tying military aid to politically-motivated investigations. He is, not to put too fine a point on it, a pretty big deal, and his testimony could be particularly important in getting to the bottom of what actually happened between the administration and the Ukrainian authorities.

Well, funny story.

Yes, that’s right; the White House blocked Sondland from testifying.

Remember that last point; it’ll come back in the next item. The decision by the White House was not an especially popular one.

And what did the president have to say?

As it turned out, it wasn’t just testimony that Sondland was keeping from Congress, either; it was, well, seemingly everything.

As should only have been expected, Sondland was subpoenaed.

That lead to a last-minute reversal at the end of the week, with Sondland’s attorney announcing that he will testify next week, after all.

The Takeaway: On the plus side, I guess we now know the limit of incredibly incriminating text messages as a legal defense strategy.

The Well-Known ‘I’ll Take My Ball and Go Home’ Strategy

What Happened: For some weeks, people have been wondering what the White House’s response to the impeachment inquiry of the president would be. Last week, folks got one—and it might not have been what they were expecting.

What Really Happened: Last week, the Trump administration finally got around to having an official response to the impeachment inquiry. It was … well, bold is certainly one way to describe it.

The letter makes for fascinating reading, essentially arguing that the administration intends to ignore the impeachment inquiry because it doesn’t like it. Suffice to say, as a legal argument, this is an unusual one to say the least.

Reactions to the letter were not all positive, as you might expect.

There were, of course, some specific complaints about the letter as well. Some, for example, weren’t impressed with the way that the letter was written.

Others, meanwhile, were more concerned with the lack of actual factual basis it had.

Nonetheless, if the letter was intended as an indicator that the president was being wronged and was going to take a firm stand on behalf of himself and the American People, then Trump might want to take a look at what the American People actually want. Polling last week showed that a majority of folks support impeachment, even on Fox News. Perhaps there’s something about constitutional crises that get people more interested in restoring the norms or something.

The Takeaway: For those still trying to work out what the White House letter actually meant in real-world terms, this is a good breakdown of the facts.

The Blizzard Boycott

What Happened: The latest front in the ongoing culture wars? A digital card game, seemingly.

What Really Happened: It’s been a big week full of unexpected responses to China’s reaction to the Hong Kong protests. Firstly, there was a face-off between China and the NBA after Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey supported the protests on Twitter. (His tweet has been since been deleted.) And then, there was … this.

“What’s Hearthstone?” you ask? It’s a digital card game from the same company that makes World of Warcraft and Overwatch. The player in question who spoke out is Chung Ng Wai, a grandmaster and professional Hearthstone player who lives in Hong Kong, so it only stands to reason that he’d have something to say about the ongoing pro-democracy protests. Apparently, it wasn’t something that Blizzard Entertainment, the company behind Hearthstone, wanted him to say.

Condemnation of the move was swift across social media.

Indeed, before too long, #BoycottBlizzard was trending as the story started to break into the mainstream media in a big way.

The impact went wider than Blizzard had likely expected, as players, employees, and commentators stepped away in support of Chung Ng Wai. Meanwhile, things didn’t exactly go better on the livestream.

Still, at least it was a sound business move on Blizzard’s part in the grand scheme of things, right? I mean, a little outrage is one thing, but that would just drive publicity and engagement, wouldn’t it? Business would be … booming?

As of this writing, Chung’s suspension hasn’t been lifted, but surely it’s only a matter of time.

The Takeaway: At time of writing, Chung’s suspension hasn’t been lifted, but surely it’s only a matter of time.

The Fat Bear Vote

What Happened: When faced with the exhausting world around us, can anyone truly say that it’s wrong to spend some time thinking about fat bears, instead?

What Really Happened: When you look at what’s happening in politics around the world these days, you’d be forgiven for wondering if all democracy itself is a flawed system that can only ultimately fail and cause heartache. And then there’s Katmai National Park’s Fat Bear vote.

Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. And this year’s contest was, as I’m sure you can all imagine, a passionately-fought race with a lot of heart. And even more stomach. Let’s look at some of the late-stage match-ups—and eventual winner—shall we?

Suffice to say, Holly’s victory was one celebrated by many across the internet, with more news coverage than you might have expected, considering.

Holly, then, was crowned not only the internet’s favorite fat bear, but also the ursine queen of all of our hearts, which seems somewhat fitting in some strange, inexplicable manner. There is, really, just one thing left to ask—but it is an important question.

The Takeaway: Really, as the days start getting shorter and the air crisper, is there any better way to mark the passing of seasons than to meditate on the metaphorical weight gain all of us go through at this time of year?

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